What happens in the group chat, stays in the group chat
by kehkr
Summary: What would transpire if you put Tala, Bryan, Spencer and Kai together in an instant messaging group chat? What happens in the group chat, stays in the group chat. (Warning: Exceeding crudeness and excessive banter)
1. Chapter 1

_Ok so this is quite a silly FF purely for the sake of shitsngiggles which is going to be in the form of a group Facebook chat or (MSN/ WhatsApp/ IM ect) between the Blitzkrieg Boys, oh and Kai... and whoever else gets dragged into it along the way._

 _Thanks to Lent by Little A Granger in which Bryan, Kai and Tyson exchange messages on a social media platform which has inspired this fic!_

 _Get ready for some crude banter..._

 **BLITZKRIEG BOYS GROUP CHAT**

 _Tala has been invited to join the conversation._

 _Spencer has been invited to join the conversation._

 _Kai has been invited to join the conversation._

 **Bryan:** WATS UP BITCHES

 **Tala:**...

 **Spencer:** haha hey!

 **Tala:** We're all sat in the same fucking room yet you choose this as your preferred method of communication?

 **Bryan:** yea but this is way more fun (-:

 **Tala:** wow.

 **Spencer:** kai isn't in the same room...

 **Tala:** True.

 **Bryan:** KAI READ UR PHONE _*nudge* *nudge* *nudge*_

 **Tala:** lol that'll piss him off.

 _Bryan has renamed chat to "BLITZKRIEG BAD BOYZ"_

 **Spencer:** WE THE BLITZKRIEG BAD BOYZ THE BADDEST BOYZ IN TOWN

 **Bryan:** _*cool emoji*_

 **Tala:** Sometimes I wonder whether I should leave you two and join the Bladebabies.

 **Tala:** I mean what the fuck? blitzkrieg bad boyz are you serious what is wrong with you.

 **Spencer:** ur such a spoil sport

 **Bryan:** Kai r u too busy playing babysitter with the bladebabies _*nudge*_

 **Kai:** Piss off Bryan.

 **Kai:** Also thanks for the nickname, I'll make sure to use that on Tyson at some point.

 **Kai:** Also why have you added me to this convo when I'm not even part of your team anymore…

 **Bryan:** _*heart emoji*_ we miss u kai _*heart emoji*_ you'll always b 1 of us _*heart emoji*_

 **Kai:** …

 **Bryan:** you'll always b a blitzkrieg bad boy 3

 _Kai has left the conversation._

 **Bryan:** awwwww man

 _Kai has been invited to join the conversation._

 **Bryan:** _*nudge* *nudge* *nudge* *nudge* *nudge*_

 **Tala:** dude stop it

 **Kai:** Fuck off.

 **Bryan:** _*nudge* *nudge* *nudge* *nudge* *nudge*_

 **Kai:** If you don't stop nudging me I'm going to come and fucking find all of you and put each of your heads through a wall.

 **Spencer:** but I didn't do anything!

 **Bryan:** I'm Kai, I'm moody af. I listen to Slipknot and hate the world.

 **Tala:** Haha! That's somewhat accurate.

 **Kai:** I presume you enjoy having the ability to walk…

 **Bryan:** what u gonna do kaiiiiiiiiii _*nudge* *nudge* *nudge* *nudge* *nudge*_

 **Kai:** Fucking stop it. I'm trying to train and my pocket wont stop vibrating.

 **Bryan:** lol... might it be a little... ahem... distracting for you Kai? _*wink emoji*_

 **Spencer:** o m g

 _Kai has left the conversation._

 **Tala:** Haha fuck sake Bryan nice one

 _Kai has been invited to join the conversation._

 **Kai:** FUCK OFF

 **Tala:** He's only joking, calm yo tits

 **Bryan:** huhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhu

 **Kai:** You're so annoying.

 **Bryan:** huhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuh _*nudge*_

 **Kai:** …. Your headstone will read 'Bryan was a bit of a dick.'

 **Bryan:** TROLOLOLolololOOOOLOLOLololol _*nudge* *nudge* *nudge* *nudge* *nudge*_

 **Kai:** I see there's no way out of this, apart from….

 **Kai:** Last night I walked in on Tala and Julia fucking in the dish in your training room.

 **Bryan:** …

 **Kai:** Just thought you'd like to know.

 **Bryan:** H AHA HA WHAT

 **Spencer:** oh my god Kai TALAS GONE RED

 **Bryan:** HIS FACE IS THE SAME COLOUR AS HIS HAIR AHAHAH FUCK SAKE LEMME TAKE A PHOTO

 _Attachment sent. { }_

 **Kai:** Tomato Tala. Nice.

 **Tala:** You're such a dick.

 **Bryan:** Ooooooooooooo

 **Spencer:** wait WAIT I need popcorn

 **Bryan:** cupboard

 **Spencer:** k ready

 **Tala:** THERES NOTHING TO TELL, YOU DON'T NEED POPCORN AND KAI I'M GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU, YOU LITTLE SHIT.

 _Tala has left the conversation_

 **Kai:** ha.

 **Kai:** If I die, I leave Hiwatari Enterprises to you guys. Please feel free to dishonour my Grandfathers name in anyway you see fit.

 **Bryan:** we would be honoured to carry on your noble work.

 **Kai:** Good. Brb going to train, don't even think of nudging me.

 _Kai has marked his status as (Away)_

 _I HOPE THAT WAS A FUN READ if you'd like to suggest any topics of amusing group chat conversation please do leave a review I'll happily include them 33333_


	2. Chapter 2

_Right well seeing as I got told off last time for it all being completely in chat form, I thought I'd fix that with a nice introductory paragraph._

 _Shoutout 2 NoEarlyBird for the party suggestion! + thanks for all your reviews, sorry I haven't updated in forever!_

* * *

Kai wandered outside and sat down on the living room sofa that he, Ray and Max had carried outside earlier that day. For some reason, Tyson had insisted that because of the hot weather, they should throw a party. A party for all of the teams in this years world championship. Kai wasn't best pleased and he wasn't entirely sure why he was there, apart from the fact he was now practically living at Tyson's house, much to his own annoyance.

He stared around the garden that was filled with way too many people for comfort. Ray and Max were talking animatedly with the White Tigers and PPB All Starz. The Justice 5 had just turned up and were being greeted by a very over excited Tyson as Hilary tried to hand each of them drink, although Kai noticed how she conveniently missed out Ming-Ming. Raul from F-Dynasty, by the looks of it, had just burnt his finger on the barbecue whilst trying to get himself a hot dog and the Majestics were stood in the middle of the garden, not quite sure what to do with themselves. Kai supposed that they were all way too rich to ever have attended such a modest party.

All of a sudden, Kai's pocket vibrated. His eyes slid annoyedly over to the sofa and bench opposite him where the Blitzkrieg Boys were all lazing, with multiple drinks in their hands. Julia was sprawled across Tala's lap, they were both sound asleep with not a care in the world. Spencer and Bryan on the other hand were both giggling at the phone in Bryan's hand. Kai rolled his eyes and gingerly plucked his own phone out of his pocket, unlocked it, and opened his messenger app.

 ** _Bryan:_** _kai u look dead_

 ** _Kai:_** _better than looking like you._

 ** _Spencer:_** _oh shittttt_

 ** _Bryan:_** _nice 1. wasn't expecting u to turn up tbh_

 ** _Kai:_** _I basically live here theres no getting away from it, plus Ray told me he spiked the punch and I'm not missing that._

 ** _Bryan:_** _ray spiked the punch? i have so much respect 4 that dude_

 ** _Kai:_** _no you don't._

 ** _Bryan:_** _Hahaha Spencer's getting punch!_

 ** _Spencer:_** _m8, the punch tastes like shit_

 ** _Kai:_** _yet you're still drinking it ugh bring me one_

 ** _Spencer:_** _im not yo bitch_

 ** _Kai:_** _bring me a fucking drink spencer_

 ** _Spencer:_** _only if u down it_

 ** _Kai:_** _fine._

 ** _Bryan:_** _im shook kai is getting in on the party?_

 ** _Kai:_** _I'm bored!_

 ** _Bryan:_** _u reckon u can drink 5 pints in one?_

 ** _Kai:_** _do you even have to ask?_

 ** _Bryan:_** _We like to drink with Kai cus Kai is out m8 and when we drink with Kai, he gets it down in 8_

 ** _Kai:_** _hello darkness my old friend_

 ** _Spencer:_** _hahahaha i dare u to throw that pint at Tala's head_

 ** _Kai:_** _As much as it pains me to throw away vodka, I accept your challenge._

 ** _Bryan:_** _FOR FUCK SAKE HAHAHAHA_

 ** _Kai:_** _at least his hair looks better like that._

 ** _Spencer:_** _aww u woke him up... oh he's running off..._

 ** _Bryan:_** _julias soaked... helo_

 ** _Spencer:_** _wet tshirt contest_

 ** _Kai:_** _Tala is punching way above his weight with her lets not lie_

 ** _Bryan:_** _legit._

 ** _Spencer:_** _oh she looks mad. oh I'm being shouted at... guys help_

Julia swiped Spencer's phone, she took one look at the screen and marched directly over to the punch bowl, and then made a beeline for Kai. Kai jumped up from his sofa and ran towards the house but Julia was too quick, flinging the plastic cup at the back of his head. It smashed on impact and raspberry vodka juice covered him from head to toe. Kai sighed and slowly turned around, squelching as he went. Everyone at the party had gone silent and all eyes were on him.

"OOOHHHHH!" Bryan and Spencer shouted in unison.

Kai narrowed his eyes at the girl, "you're gonna fucking get it."


	3. Chapter 3

_I was going to follow on directly from the previous chapter however I couldn't think of what to write without it seeming a bit weird and even more OOC than the last chapter. Obviously this is just a bit of fun but I mean, I don't wanna stray too far. Maybe I'll write that chapter another time, but right now I'm going to carry on with another one-shot that's somewhat kinda related to the previous chapter but it's a week or so later!_

It was late afternoon and Tala was lounging on his sofa, watching TV. He had spent most of the day practicing with Bryan and Spencer but by 3pm they had become very hungry and had decided to go home to get some food. He was now sipping iced tea and flicking through the channels, waiting until 6pm when Julia would get back from her dance class with Romero. As he daydreamed about his girlfriend Sashaying around a big dance hall, he noticed his phone screen light up. Tala grabbed the phone and saw that he had an unread message, he curiously unlocked his phone, opening his instant messaging app only to see that the message was from Tyson. What could Tyson possibly want with him? Maybe he was about to challenge him to a match. Tala sighed importantly; he knew Tyson would want to face him again at some point. Perhaps it was today, or perhaps not, Tala thought as they began to chat.

 _Tyson: hey man!_

 _Tala: whats up_

 _Tyson: its Kai's bday on Friday right?_

 _Tala: Yea, doubt he wants anyone to know tho…_

 _Tyson: lets throw a party!_

 _Tala: Hahaha, don't think that'll go down well after last time_

 _Tyson: hahahaha but it was so much fun!_

 _Tala: he's not spoken to me since!_

 _Tyson: hes been sulking in his room for an entire week_

 _Tala: it was his own fault lets be honest_

 _Tyson: he actually emerged from his room a few days ago to get some paint stripper lol_

 _Tala: hahahha as if Julia painted his beyblade pink, I rly love that girl_

 _Tyson: she's a class girl man good on u_

 _Tala: thanks, I'm glad you approve._

 _Tyson: omg I'm rewatching the vid, the part where he falls in the dish tho! I shouldn't laugh but that's comedy gold!_

 _Tala: wait wait I gotta rewatch it again_

 _Tyson: hahahaha how did he even get that drunk?_

 _Tala: Bryan and Spencer, need I say more?_

 _Tyson: hahaha legends_

 _Tala: hes reported my youtube channel ten times!_

 _Tyson: HAHAHA typical kai_

 _Tala: arsehole, its gonna go into bad standing soon. No way I'm taking the vid down tho_

 _Tyson: pls never take it down. But anyway, yeah, this party_

 _Tala: I cba to do it but lets get Bryan and Spencer to plan it_

 _Tyson: is that really a good idea…._

 _Bryan has been invited to join the conversation._

 _Spencer has been invited to join the conversation._

 _Tala: we've decided you two are planning Kai's birthday party_

 _Bryan: I'm honoured._

 _Spencer: hahahahaha YES_

 _Tyson: oh lord_

 _Bryan: I know a printing shop in town that will print the video play-by-play onto bunting._

 _Tyson: for fuck sake Bryan that is so extra_

 _Spencer: Can we get one of those cakes with a print out of him falling in the dish pls! with "Happy Birthday Kai!" written underneath._

 _Bryan: Yes. Yes we can get one of those!_

 _Tala: what have we done…_

 _Tyson: It was your idea, not mine._

 _Bryan: excuse me, we want to make Kai's birthday a beautiful and unforgettable experience_

 _Tala: Well I mean it'll definitely be unforgettable._

 _Spencer: I think it should be Disney princess themed. Just sayin…_

 _Bryan: Obviously._

 _Tala: I am not dressing up as a princess._

 _Bryan: You've done it before, you'll do it again._

 _Tala: oh fuck you man_

 _Tyson: What do you reckon we should get him as a present?_

 _Tala: idk… a new beyblade hahaha_

 _Tyson: in pink?_

 _Bryan: HAHAHA I forgot Julia painted it pink while he was passed out_

 _Spencer: I have so much admiration for that girl._

 _Bryan: same. but yeah idk what we should get him._

 _Tala: a medal reading "when you try your best but you don't succeed"_

 _Tyson: oh my god he would kill you!_

 _Tala: or "almost world champion"_

 _Tyson: awww don't mock him!_

 _Bryan: Why don't we ask him?_

 _Kai has been invited to join the conversation._

 _Bryan: What would u prefer for ur bday Kai? We're thinking of getting u a medal but idk if it should read "when you try your best but you don't succeed" or "almost world champion" or "guy that fell in the dish" or "everyones favourite princess"?_

 _Tala: oh shit_

 _Tyson: BRYAN WHY_

 _Kai has left the conversation._

 _Bryan: bitch can't take a joke_

 _Kai has been invited to join the conversation._

 _Bryan: seriously what do u want for ur bday_

 _Kai: for you to all fuck off_

 _Tala: tetchy tetchy_

 _Kai: especially you._

 _Tala: hahaha sorry but that video is too funny plus you deserved it_

 _Kai: oh fuck off_

 _Tala: that's what you get when you mess with my gf_

 _Kai: at least I don't let a girl fight my battles_

 _Tala: you're just pissed cus she made a complete fool out of you_

 _Bryan : Kai did u see the photo of u falling into the dish is on the cover of beyblade weekly hahaha_

 _Kai has left the conversation._

 _Tyson: you guys are so mean!_

 _Tala: nah we're always like this, he's used to it_

 _Kai has been invited to join the conversation._

 _Bryan: so is ur beyblade still pink?_

 _ _Kai has left the conversation.__

Kai sighed deeply, he was shaking with anger as he tried desperately to compose himself, hoping that he wouldn't throw his phone across the room. He placed it on his bedside table and turned to stare at the wall. Why had he got so drunk? Why had he thought it would be absolutely hilarious to throw punch at Tala and Julia? _Because it was,_ he thought,chuckling dryly. He simply hadn't envisioned that he would carry on drinking and get to the point where he would accept a drunken beyblade match against Julia. He also hadn't expected Tala to film the entire thing and put it on youtube for the entire world to see. His blood boiled and he grabbed his phone, why was Tyson talking to those idiots anyway?

 _Kai: What the fuck are you playing at!_

 _Tyson: I was only trying to find out when your birthday was!_

 _Kai: it's on Friday._

 _Tyson: ok… thanks. Do you want a present?_

 _Kai: what do you think?_

 _Tyson: I'll take that as a no…._

 _Kai: well fucking done genius_

 _Tyson: I'm still gonna get you something!_

 _Kai: don't bother. _

_Tyson: oh whatever, stop being in such a mood!_

 _Tyson: seriously kai_

 _Tyson: ... hello?_

 _Tyson: omg get over it! you got smashed and made a fool of yourself, we've all been there._

 _Kai: please stop talking._

 _Tyson: Its' just a little bit funnier than normal because I mean… y'know, its you..._

 _Kai: oh fuck yourself._

 _Tyson: You know if we have this party we can totally get Tala back!_

 _Kai: … ffs. I'm listening. _


	4. Chapter 4

_I find whenever I update my main fic, I always have an urge to update this at the same time too! Also_ _this one isn't as funny, infact its kinda dark in a way, but I wanted to make something cute about them all being concerned about Kai, in their own amusing way! Also because writing my other fic is starting to get a bit darker I'm just like I NEED TO WRITE DARK THINGS_

 _Again, thank you so much for all your reviews and favs, means so much!_

* * *

It was 11am and Tala was wide awake, staring at the ceiling in his bedroom. His head was pounding from the previous night, why had Kai decided it would be a good idea for them to drink a bottle of vodka each? That boy sure knew how to... drink, and then sit around in a drunken silent stupor like he always did. Tala was starting to wonder if Kai had a problem, after all, apart from when he was training, Kai always seemed to be drunk.

Suddenly, he heard a crash in the kitchen, Tala figured it was probably a still-drunk from the previous night Kai trying to make breakfast and failing miserably.

In a few days, they were going to be going away on a training camp. It would be just him, Kai, Bryan and Spencer. Maybe they'd be able to get something out of him, or at least cheer the poor boy up! Just then, Tala noticed his phone light up. It was on the floor, Tala wondered how it got there, but the previous night was such a blur that he gave up trying to figure it out. Instead, he got out of bed, swaying as he did so, picked up his phone and unlocked it as he made his way down into the kitchen.

 **Bryan:** ugh lads.. rly don't want to go on training camp

 **Tala:** why

 **Spencer:** but think of the team bonding...

 **Bryan:** think of how hard Kai is gonna work us

 **Tala:** good point. fuck.

 **Bryan:** we'll have to do something to distract him

 **Tala:** sleeping pills?

 **Bryan:** .. I mean.. thats a bit, yknow.. dark. was gonna say we could adopt a cat for the week

 **Tala** : oh yeah sure... a cat

 **Spencer:** ur so fucked in the head Tala

 **Tala:** well i did drink an entire bottle of vodka last night, might still be drunk

 **Bryan:** ah.. makes sense

 **Spencer:** y u no invite us

 **Tala:** Kai's here.

 **Spencer:** so...

 **Bryan:** wait so we're discussing drugging Kai whilst he's in the same house as you?

 **Tala:** ... yes.

 **Spencer:** did Kai drink an entire bottle of vodka too lol

 **Tala:** well he definitely looks like he has

 **Bryan:** nah mate he always looks like that

 **Tala:** thats because he's always drunk

 **Spencer:** im deeply upset u left us out of ur lil party

 **Tala:** it wasn't my idea! Kai came over with two bottles of vodka and told me to drink one!

 **Bryan:** ur such an enabeler

 **Tala:** i think his grandfathers being a bit of a wanker again

 **Bryan:** when is he not...

 **Tala:** idk reckon Kai is going through a difficult time

 **Bryan:** poor dude

 **Spencer:** maybe the training camp will cheer him up ^_^

 **Tala:** oh yes nothing like hard work, pain and vodka to cheer up Kai

 **Bryan:** we should get him laid.. bet he'd like that

 **Tala:** what an excellent idea

 **Spencer:** do the mountains have strip clubs?

 **Tala:** no spence, they dont.

 **Spencer:** aw :(

 **Kai:** I'm literally right here you jammy fuckers.

 **Bryan:** ooohhh we forgot to remove him from the convo

 **Kai:** I'm not sure whats worse, you guys talking behind my back or you guys talking behind my back but being stupid enough not to delete me from the group chat before doing it.

 **Spencer:** ... looool well this is awkward

 _ **Kai has left the conversation.**_


End file.
